The path of healing is a staggered one. It is filled with highs and lows. It is peppered with tears, triumphs and setbacks. There are days that flow with hope and possibility. Followed by days of uncertainty, self doubt and criticism. For every three steps forward, there can be two or five steps back. On the back slidden days, it's important to remember that this is all part of the process and don't be too hard on yourself.
The patterns that served your survival in days past, are deeply wired in your brain and it takes time to move beyond that way of thinking. It takes conscious effort to remind yourself that there is a new possibility and to put in the work of changing your thinking and behavior.
It's a day by day, hour by hour and even minute by minute process. And that's ok. Because it is possible. Every positive thought and affirmation combats the darkness that has lived inside for too long. Every glimmer of light and hope that radiates past the negative energy, makes way for new, positive energy that will fuel you to the next stage of healing.
Be kind to yourself. Talk to your wounded inner child that needs love, empathy and understanding. Do not say anything that you wouldn't say to your five year old self. Too often we are our own worst critic and biggest enemy. Whether you are self critical because you see your mistakes, or because it's abusive rhetoric drilled into your head by your abuser... it doesn't matter. What matters is learning to let that go and to gently love yourself.
Give it time and patience. Healing will come if you continue to want it and work towards it. For all the tears, time and even the setbacks... it will be worth it. At some point you will look back and see how far you've come and will be amazed. Chances are, there will be someone else who sees your story and will be inspired by it.
That's the beauty of life. We are all in it together to help each other get through it. Your pain is not for nothing. There is a story and reason for it. You can use it for a purpose to help others. And through that, your legacy will live on. You have the opportunity to make it a good one.
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